Sunday, April 26, 2009

:The:Mission:Taco:Chapter 7:That's It Market:

Okay, okay, okay--I know. It's been a while. It's been far too long. I get it--okay? No excuses. No excuses at all.

So here's the reason why I haven't been updating: I lost my iPhone, so I couldn't take pictures of my tacos. Please don't give me the "oh you could've used your digital camera instead" rebuttal. That's absurd. I've recently procured another iPhone and now I'm ready to go. 

But f'real, I've honestly become absolutely uninspired. I've found what I think is true taco perfection at Tonayense, and I find it so damn difficult to venture outside of my tacomfort zone. Why would I spend my hard-earned dollars on terrible tacos, then go write a lengthy excerpt in my taco blog about how shitty the tacos I ate were? Am I losing site on the aim of :The:Mission:Taco:?

Well, who cares? I'm updating, and fellow Taconians, inspiration has struck in the following form:

Dzman dats alotta'sada!

At first glance, the untuned taco eye sees a fat pile shit. Fools. But to the taconnoisseurs out there, this is Love, In Itself. Sure, it might be a 'Lil Wayne excessive, but so what? All those girls who told me that size doesn't matter were clearly lying to me. 

And where can one find this gorilla of a taco? That's It Liquor on Mission and 23rd. That's right: "That's It." What's "it"? That's It! 

I know I typically don't talk about the atmosphere of my taco venue, but said taco venue is quite unique. The place itself is a proper liquor store, but as soon as you walk inside, to the right is a little Mexican/Mediterranean delicatessen. I suppose you could call it a Mexirraneatessen... or a Medicatessen? Ah fuck it--just know that you can buy a six-pack and a freshly made taco in the same venue. But don't go poppin' open your Tecate just yet, as they won't let you drink inside (probably some lame law). But what you can do is take your taco/beer and go eat/drink next door at Mission Bar (just be sure to buy beer at the bar, too).

Okay--so here's the taco down-low. Obviously there's a ton of carne asada, and thankfully there's quality that comes with it. Grissle-free, not chewy, slightly greasy carne asada goodness. The aforementioned adjectives clearly leads to a great flavor that comes well complemented by a nice, bold red sauce. It's got a slightly bitter, strong chili flavor to it--almost like a less-oilier and version of the epic red sauce at Vallarta. Though you can't see the corn tortillas, rest-assured, they were legit. Actually, they were so legit, I couldn't quit. Perfectly cooked--soft, warm, slightly crisped. You know the story. 

Now, before you get your panties all wet, I do have to give a disclaimer on this taco. So you see the lady next to the salt shaker in the above picture? Her name is Alicia--and she is my new tacomama. I was pretty much flirting with her in my broken Spanish: "Que pone en su salsa roja? Por cuantos anos estaba cocinada aqi? Me gusta mucho carne!" I must say, only the charm of the Taco Guru can get the taco ladies to put out so much carne like it's nobody's business. Don't expect your taco to have the grandeur of mine--I'm the Taco Pimp, bitch!

Now, don't worry: I will not let my head get in the way of my review. This taco is worthy of a respectable Que Bueno! :P Consider this taco damn good, and do give That's It a visit if you're out in the Mish bars and got that taco craving. Also, an interesting tidbit: Alicia told me that this place is going to be on the Travel Channel in August. When I heard that, I was like, "No f'ing way" in my head, but it does make a lot of sense. I asked her what he ate, and apparently he had the Torta Cubana. 

Shoulda' had the Taco, Tony. Maybe next time.

-The Taco Guru